This is not my first time at the brick wall. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve been throwing myself at a brick wall for at least a decade. This is, however, the first time that I am backing away from the wall with the intention of never visiting this particular brick wall again.

I’m back from New Zealand, where it was spring. It’s fast closing in on the shortest day of the year here in NYC. And Christmas. I am not a Christmas person. I am not a New Year’s person with all of its resolutions. Donald Trump is president. It is time for radical change.

I am no stranger to radical change. It took me a while to find research science—after I gave up bartending, I mean playwriting, a long, long time ago. I start thinking that radical change looks much better on a 20-something year old than on a woman of a certain age. Then I start thinking of that brick wall again. Nope. I’m outta here.

I’m turning my back on science, at least as it is currently practiced. (Read pretty much any memoir by a senior woman scientist to know why.) Armed with my heady, if slightly impractical, visions of a future me, created while reading Designing Your Life, I need to take action. Throw out 20 years of research experience. Check. Resent doing so. Check. Figure out way to use that experience in a completely new way. Hey! There’s an idea.

I have an idea!! At least I have the start of an idea. I decide making resolutions isn’t such a bad thing to do after all. I decide to do the thing that can lead to the cartoon lightbulb over my head epiphany. I will write myself out of a paper bag. Other species have fun with paper bag activities. Why not me?

Like many writers, my issue can be accountability. And topic—what am I going to write about? And becoming a hermit. And, and, and… There’s nothing to do for it but write a blog. A blog that gets me out of the house on a regular basis. A blog about something important.  A blog that will start on January 1—make that January 2. (Let’s be real, kids.)

To be continued…